This Doesn't Fit6/9/2018 David fastened on his sword over the tunic and tried walking around, because he was not used to them. "I cannot go in these," he said to Saul, "because I am not used to them." So he took them off. – 1 Samuel 17:39 Growing up and even today, I always appreciate the story of the young David, before he became king. The youngest of his siblings, David wasn’t even considered by his father, Jesse, as one who might be anointed king over Israel. Indeed, the prophet Samuel when looking at the other brothers was initially inclined to anoint one who seemed like the natural fit, but God had other intentions. In 1 Samuel 16:7 we read, “But the Lord said to Samuel, “Do not look on his appearance or on the height of his stature, because I have rejected him. For the Lord sees not as man sees: man looks on the outward appearance, but the Lord looks on the heart.” And so, Samuel asks Jesse if there is another son and he summons David who is anointed King. One of the greatest lessons that I have learned about God through the process of accepting myself, with all of my paradoxes, is how God's grace is so AMAZING. Just as God did with David, so he does with each of us—He looks at our hearts, our character, and our truest selves. In speaking to the prophet Jeremiah, God says: "Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart; I appointed you as a prophet to the nations” (Jeremiah 1:5). God knows us, loves us, and has a plan for us. Learning to accept this profound reality is essential in understanding who we truly are. It also requires us to unlearn what we have thought about ourselves for so long. A sociologist name Charles Cooley formulated the concept of the “looking glass self.” In layman’s terms, it basically posits that our identity is shaped by what we think the most important person(s) in our lives think about us. Throughout our lives, we have many important people: parents, family, and friends. Also, sometimes we make people important, who really are not in the long run. Nonetheless, our thoughts and feelings about the perception of others about ourselves shape how we see ourselves and ultimately who we become. Proverbs 23:7 (KJV) states, “For as he thinketh in his heart, so is he.” Unfortunately, our thinking is not always our own and is not shaped by the one who truly matters—God. We take on the perceptions of others and call it 'truth', without ever examining whether it is the right fit, or truth, for us. In 1 Samuel 17, we see that the Israelites are being tormented by Goliath. Day and night he is demeaning them and they begin to see themselves as he calls it. They buy into the deception and they are afraid. In verse 16, David enters on to the scene and cannot believe what he is seeing and hearing, not from Goliath, but from his fellow Israelites. And so, David steps forward to take on Goliath. David was armed with a God-given identity and the assurance that came with it, but immediately his fellow countrymen tried to dissuade him from going out to challenge Goliath. Then in verses 38-39, King Saul gets David to put on his personal armor, but it did not fit David. Instead, he went out dressed like the shepherd boy that he was and brought down Goliath with five smooth stones. David knew who he was because it was just confirmed by the prophet one chapter earlier. He had a God-given identity and because of that he knew what fit him and what did not. He did not succumb to the temptation to fit in with the others, rather he embraced his uniqueness and shed the hand-me-down armor of those were too afraid to fight for themselves. Of course, David had to ultimately wait for 20 years before finally becoming king of Israel. Perhaps this was necessary to truly learn his God-given identity and to embrace it, so that he would truly be “a man after God’s own heart” (Acts 13:22). How many times are we like David with others trying to impose their identities upon us? How many time are we unlike David and willingly accept those identities because we want to fit in or it is simply easier? For so many years, my identity was based on trying to make other people happy and it came at a great expense because it didn’t make any of us happy. Most people are uncomfortable in their own “armor” to even think about your “armor.” As I tell people often, no one is thinking about you as often as you are thinking about yourself. Above is a clip from the movie, "Love, Simon." In the scene, the mother is played by Jennifer Garner, and she affirms her son's identity after he came out to his family as gay. She tells him, "As soon as you came out, you said, “Mom, I’m still me.” I need you to hear this. You are still you, Simon. You are still the same son who I love to tease, and who your father depends on for just about everything. And you’re the same brother who always complements his sister on her food, even when it sucks. But you get to exhale now, Simon. You get to be more you than you have been in, in a very long time. You deserve everything you want."
I truly believe this is a message that God wants ALL of us to hear: "You are still YOU...you are still the same child that I love" and He wants us to be the best version of ourselves because He thinks we are AWESOME! Don't let anyone tell you that you are not. Learning to be comfortable in your own skin is difficult. Simon states it pretty succulently in the movie, "Who you are to the world is pretty terrifying because what if the world doesn’t like you?" Just remember: The world didn't accept Jesus--but He is still the King. The world does not get to define YOU and the world does NOT have the last word!
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Love's Prerequisite: Vulnerability6/8/2018 The LORD God took the man and put him in the Garden of Eden to work it and take care of it. 16 And the LORD God commanded the man, “You are free to eat from any tree in the garden; 17 but you must not eat from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, for when you eat from it you will certainly die.”- Genesis 2 Have you ever wondered why a sovereign, all-knowing God would deliberately put a tree in the garden which was off limits to His children? If God knows everything, then He knew that Adam and Eve would eat of the tree that He said was off limits. The reason that God placed the tree in the garden is that He wanted Adam and Eve to CHOOSE to love Him through their obedience. 1 John 5:3 tells us that love for God is expressed in our obedience to Him. God did not want us to be robots to be programmed to love Him, rather He gave us a will to choose to love Him, but this means that there is also the choice NOT to love Him. In the beginning of all creation, God is already instructing His children about love. 1 John 4:8 tells us that God IS love. Love is not just something God does, it is who He is and by knowing Him better—we learn to truly love better. As we learn from our Creator, love requires vulnerability and by placing the tree in the garden, He gave Adam and Eve the opportunity to hurt Him through their disobedience or to love Him through their obedience. What transpires is that they disobeyed God and hurt Him—just as we continue to do so today. However, God has not changed in His way of making Himself vulnerable. God’s vulnerability is ultimately seen in Jesus. Jesus made Himself nothing (Philippians 2) and took on the nature of a servant. He came to love us and show us the way and rather than revering Him and giving Him the glory He deserved—we crucified Him. Again, this was no surprise to God and He still chose to make Himself vulnerable because God knew that love would overcome the odds—even death itself! It is that amazing love that continues to transform the world and the hearts of men and women. Here is a movie scene from "Somethings Gotta Give" The lesson for each of us is this: that true love requires vulnerability. As much as we hate the idea of getting hurt—it will happen. We then have a choice to walk away and build barriers to intimacy or persist in love just as God did and continues to do today. 1 Corinthians 13 tells us that love “always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres…Love never fails.” The world may say we are a fool to love in this way—and we need to remember that they said the same thing about Jesus. While Jesus was crucified with our hate—He was resurrected by His love. You may have been hurt by the hate of this world—but His love is able to resurrect you if you continue to walk in love—no matter the cost remembering that LOVE NEVER FAILS. Don’t let the dysfunction of others dictate how you will live your life. Rather, allow the love of the Father to redefine you and transform you as you live and walk in that love.
There can be no true love without true vulnerability—but God has your back (Romans 8) and He is the victor! 10 I want to know Christ—yes, to know the power of his resurrection and participation in his sufferings, becoming like him in his death, 11 and so, somehow, attaining to the resurrection from the dead.- Philippians 3 Bitterness in the Christian Life6/6/2018 In Ephesians 4:31, Paul writes: “Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice.” In this month’s newsletter article, I want to focus on the danger of a bitter heart. The Bible outlines an array of difficulties that emerge in our walk with the Lord and with others as a result of a bitter heart. Proverbs 4:23 states, “Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life.” This scripture reminds us that the state of our hearts will determine the quality of our lives. So, with that in mind let us examine how bitterness affects our hearts and lives. Bitterness develops when we allow anger and hurt to fester in our lives. Ephesians 4:26 tells us that we should not “let the sun go down while you are still angry” because it gives the devil the ability to take an offense and make our hearts bitter. The longer we let an offense dwell within us, the more bitter our hearts will become—and the more devastating the consequence. This is why Proverbs 17:9 states, “He who covers an offense promotes love, but whoever repeats the matter separates close friends.” If we do not let go of the anger, we end up repeating the offense over and over in our minds, which in turn makes our hearts bitter and makes all of our relationships suffer. When our hearts are full of bitterness, our minds are filled with confusion, our words are full of gossip (Psalm 64:3)/slander (Heb. 12:15)/complaining (Job 7:11), and sinful actions (Job 21:25). Jeremiah 2:19 tells us that bitterness is an indication of a fragmented life in both our relationship to God and our relationship to others. Proverbs 14:10 states, “Each heart knows its own bitterness, and no one else can fully share its joy” (NLT), which means that we are alienated from genuine relationships because no one wants to be around you! At the end of the day, bitterness leads to misery for you and misery for those who surround you. So, how do you deal with bitterness in your life? Well, consider the principle: if you don’t feed something, it will die. In keeping with this principle, stop feeding your heart with evil thoughts (Matthew 9:4) and anger and bitterness will die. Most people are surprised by this statement, but it is your choice to be bitter or to be better. Paul says in Ephesians 4:32 that instead of being bitter you should “be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you.” If you allow someone’s offense to take hold in your life—you give him or her power and the devil a foothold. However, when you choose to do what God tells us to do, it keeps the dysfunction of your offender from becoming your dysfunction and the devil has to flee from you (James 4:7). Turn every offense into a prayer—every persecution into a praise—every test into a testimony—and you will enjoy the peace that surpasses all understanding (Philippians 4:7). Lastly, how do you deal with those who have bitter hearts? First, pray for them (Luke 6:27-28). When you pray for them it accesses God’s amazing power to change hearts and it guards your own heart from becoming bitter (bitterness is contagious). Second, love them. No one likes being around bitter people, but Jesus tells us that it is the sick that need a doctor (Matthew 9:12) and when you love them it can plant a seed for repentance (Romans 12:20). Third, “speak to one another with psalms, hymns and spiritual songs” (Ephesians 5:19)…in other words, make sure your words build up and not tear down (Ephesians 4:29). Lastly, always remember that God “has called us to live in peace” (1 Cor. 7:15) so guard your own heart (Proverbs 4:23) and don’t let their dysfunction become your own. Recently, I got into a debate with a colleague of mine at the University about the use of textbooks in courses and their effectiveness in learning material. She argued that we always had textbooks and we should continue to use them. My argument is that technological advances have given us new tools to advance learning that are more effective and cheaper. (Further, I always hate using the past to justify decisions, rather than looking at the facts that are in the present.) For my colleague, a textbook presented a comfort—a one-stop shop to get the information. For me, a textbook, while at times may be necessary, actually hinders learning and growth because we are not in the book to learn, but to get the “right answer,” so that we can pass the test. Learning, in my opinion, happens best when we are seeking knowledge with the right motivation. I hated math class in school. It was always a struggle for me, and so, to pass my courses I cheated. I cheated in middle school all the way through high school. In fact, my cheating was creative with just the right amount of errors to avoid getting caught. And, because I was the “good Christian” boy, my teachers had no clue. But, then I went to college and had to take a math class that I could not cheat in (after all, I knew better. An 87-year-old professor named Mr. Zampetti taught the math class and he was the best math teacher I have ever had. For the first time I was not intimidated by the questions because he taught in a new style—one that did not rely on getting the right answers, but learning the right process! He said in the beginning of the course, "Let me tell you something there is never going to be a place in your life where you won't have a text book…unless you're going to be an astronaut.” Because the course was basic college math, he then added: “And, if you’re going to be an astronaut—good luck because this is remedial math!” His philosophy was simple: focus less on the right answers and focus more on the right process! Use the textbook to guide you in the process of finding the right answers. In our lives, we always want the right answers to the questions we face, when God is more concerned with the process through which we seek out the answers. We cannot rely on someone else doing the work for us in getting the answers; rather we must learn to work out our salvation with fear and trembling (Philippians 2:12). In 2 Timothy 3:15-17, Paul instructs young Timothy to: "Do your best to present yourself to God as one approved, a worker who does not need to be ashamed and who correctly handles the word of truth. All scripture is inspired by God and is useful for teaching, for reproof, for correction, and for training in righteousness, so that everyone who belongs to God may be proficient, equipped and ready for every good work." God’s desire is that we would be students on the scriptures as we seek His truth through the power of the Holy Spirit as we walk with the WORD made flesh: Jesus. Jesus is the LIVING WORD (John 1:1-18) and the purpose of scripture to point us to Him in all of our human reasoning. We are to read the scriptures for the purpose of seeking after God (Jeremiah 29:13), not answers to questions (James 4:3). Our study must engage our brains (Isaiah 1:18), our hearts (Proverbs 8:17), our spirits (John 4:24), and ultimately our love for God and for one another (Mark 12:30-31). Scripture is an inspired tool of the Holy Spirit to transform us into the likeness of Jesus Christ. However, if we do not understand this motivation behind the text, we will be fooled into thinking that scriptures are about finding answers, rather than changing our process. In Matthew 5:17 (Message translation), Jesus states: "Don’t suppose for a minute that I have come to demolish the Scriptures—either God’s Law or the Prophets. I’m not here to demolish but to complete. I am going to put it all together, pull it all together in a vast panorama.” The law was given as a temporary guide until we received Christ and the power of the Holy Spirit. Paul eloquently sums it up in Galatians 3:24 (NLT): “Let me put it another way. The law was our guardian until Christ came; it protected us until we could be made right with God through faith.” Now that followers of Jesus have the guidance of the Holy Spirit, God wants to reveal to us a new, greater revelation of truth. John 16:12-13 (AMP) tells us about God's Holy Spirit. We get God's spirit, Jesus says, “I have many more things to say to you, but you cannot bear [to hear] them now. 13 But when He, the Spirit of Truth, comes, He will guide you into all the truth [full and complete truth]. For He will not speak on His own initiative, but He will speak whatever He hears [from the Father—the message regarding the Son], and He will disclose to you what is to come [in the future]. The Holy Spirit is still at work guiding us into all truth! The right motivation coupled with the right process, under the guidance of the right teacher, brings about the right meaning! Following Jesus is not hard when we understand is really in control and we allow Him to control our lives. The scriptures are inspired to help us work out the agape love of God in our lives as “love is the fulfillment of the law” (Romans 13:10). The best way for this to happen to allow Jesus, the manifestation of God’s perfect love, to teach us His ways by truly experiencing and dispensing the agape love of Christ. The Apostle Paul’s prayer for the Ephesian church was not that there theology be perfect, but that their revelation of God’s love would grow. In Ephesians 3:14-19 (Message), we read: “My response is to get down on my knees before the Father, this magnificent Father who parcels out all heaven and earth. I ask him to strengthen you by his Spirit—not a brute strength but a glorious inner strength—that Christ will live in you as you open the door and invite him in. And I ask him that with both feet planted firmly on love, you’ll be able to take in with all followers of Jesus the extravagant dimensions of Christ’s love. Reach out and experience the breadth! Test its length! Plumb the depths! Rise to the heights! Live full lives, full in the fullness of God.” And this is my prayer for all of us! Checking Our Spiritual Vision6/4/2018 About two months ago, I went to my annual eye exam and was told that my vision required the use of bifocals. I found this to be an odd diagnosis because while my eyes were tired after reading, for the most part, I could see quite well. However, I went to an “expert,” and I figured he knew better than I. After I got my new glasses, however, I could not see as clearly as I could without wearing glasses. When I told people of this problem, they replied that I just needed to get used to them. So, I gave it about another week before going back to the eye doctor with my complaints. When I went back to him, I got a new eye exam, and he told me that he gave me the wrong prescription and that I did NOT need bifocals. I was both relieved and frustrated. I was relieved because it confirmed what I knew, and frustrated because it was costly for time and resources.
In reflecting over this experience, I cannot help to think that this is the process by which many of us develop our theology. The dictionary defines “theology” as the “study of the nature of God and religious belief.” Most of the time we are given a theology, like a prescription, by an “expert.” The experts that we rely upon are our family, clergy, media, etc. However, we rely on their expertise in helping us sort out our theology. Once we get our prescribed theology, we may not be comfortable with questioning the diagnosis. However, the prescribed theology is just like a pair of glasses, in that it can enhance or distort our view of the world. We are ultimately responsible to question and seek the right diagnosis, especially if we notice that there is not a good fit, regardless of our how others may want us to just accept it. In thinking about my religious upbringing, I was not taught or encouraged to question matters of faith. It shouldn’t surprise you that I remember my pastor getting frustrated with me when I started questioning him in youth group. He replied to my questions that I was just “being difficult.” However, I did have questions that were not being answered. I was told to take the glasses of others and put them on to perceive matters of faith—and it just did not fit! Perhaps it their “theological glasses” fit for them, but it did not fit for me. I had questions and continue to have questions concerning theology, but I have learned that I must challenge the lenses I have been given to understand theological matters—because the lens might not fit. In Philippians 2:12, Paul instructs us to “continue to work out your salvation with fear and trembling.” Theological matters are works in progress that requires us to work at seeing things clearer. It is always alarming to me when people are so confident in theological matters, especially given what Paul says in 1 Corinthians 13:12 (AMP): For now [in this time of imperfection] we see in a mirror dimly [a blurred reflection, a riddle, an enigma], but then [when the time of perfection comes we will see reality] face to face. Now I know in part [just in fragments], but then I will know fully, just as I have been fully known [by God]. We are in the process of receiving progressive revelations of God’s truth and we do not see it clearly at first. It takes time to see it clearly and the only way for it to happen is for us to get closer to Jesus, who is our light and our truth. Jesus illuminates the meaning of the scripture that shapes our theology. In Mark 8:22-25, we read about Jesus healing a blind man at Bethsaida. Jesus heals him, but the change in his vision takes time. After Jesus spits in the man’s eyes and put’s his hands on him, the man opens his eyes and sees, but not clearly. Jesus lays his hands on his eyes again and it says, “Then his eyes were opened, his sight was restored, and he saw everything clearly.” The man could have been content with being able to see distortions, after all this was better than being blind; however, he went back to the great physician to see clearly! Think about the stages we see in the passage: before Jesus the man was blind, the first healing restored sight, and the last healing truly opened his eyes! I can’t help but to think how we are like the blind man and how many of us are walking around with distorted vision, distorted theology, because we think we are seeing clearly because an expert told us that this is how it is. But what if we have the wrong lenses through which we are viewing God and His leading. The Pharisees had the wrong lens and it resulted in them missing out on embracing Jesus. He states in John 5:39, “You study the Scriptures diligently because you think that in them you have eternal life. These are the very Scriptures that testify about me.” In other words, the only way to read the scriptures is through the lenses of Jesus. One final note about lenses and theology. Most of us should go for an eye exam every year because our vision changes as we get older. The old glasses don’t work as well as they used to and we need an adjustment in our lenses. Likewise, matters of faith will change as we get older. Paul writes in 1 Corinthians 13:11, “When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me.” It is good and healthy to challenge the lenses through which we perceive theological matters, as well as matters of the world. One of the things that I appreciate about international travel is to see the world through a different cultures perspective. I enjoy dialoguing with those of other faith perspectives because I value the opportunity for an “I” exam, as my beliefs, assumptions, and attitudes are challenged. I value my religious upbringing; I just wish they encouraged me to challenge “my vision” by openly questioning “their vision.” May we be a community that invites questions and embraces the mystery of faith. While we look at things through different lenses, we, like Paul, resolve to know only one thing with certainty--Jesus Christ and His crucifixion for us (1 Corinthians 2:2). AuthorDr. Rob Weinstein is the Founding/Senior Pastor of Bethany Grace Community Church in Bridgeton, NJ. He is also a Professor of Business Studies/Academic Director/Chair of Human Resource Management Studies. He is the Founder of the M25 Initiative, a nonprofit dedicated to ending homelessness and food insecurity in Cumberland County, NJ. Archives
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